I’ve been doing a lot of work on goal setting and expectations. I’ve come to realize my expectations from men are far from reality based. For one thing, I still operate under the belief system that at some point, dudes stop acting like dudes and start communicating with me like my female friends. To some asinine degree, I subconsciously think guys ACT like guys until they trust and love you, then they become easy going, understandable, fun loving people, just like my best gal pals.
The truth is, we’re always gonna be different. To make matters more complicated, within our respective genders, there are all different degrees of feminine and masculine behavior. My last boyfriend liked to talk about his emotional issues, repetitively. Not only was it exhausting, it was worrisome. Then I’m tiptoeing around his emotional shit and guess what? My baggage got ignored and stagnant. I’ve also been involved with emotional imbeciles who literally have no emotional intelligence.
Me: ‘I like you and I like spending time with you but I don’t really know what’s going on with us?’
Neanderthal: “Whattaya mean?’
This is where I think I’m getting fucked with and lose my shit.
Sometimes it takes an idiot to send you into an anger fueled tail spin.
All I really want is someone to communicate these things
“I think you’re prettier than anyone I know”
‘I like spending time with you more than anyone I know’
‘I want you to feel like I like you more than anyone I know, how can I do that?”
Superlatives and interest in behavior modification.
That’s really it.
I don’t think that’s asking too much.
Oh and the granddaddy of all superlatives, the unexpected superlative! One you never even HEARD before. Shit, I’ll forget all about the fact you didn’t answer my texts for 2 days. I mean holding a grudge will only detract from the fact that I “look like a modern day Bridget Bardot ”
I’m no fool.
Preferably the male saying these things is 6 foot something, 50 to 60 pounds heavier than me, easy on the eyes, and highly interested in my sexual satisfaction.
Just another set of reality based expectations
I’m fucked
Figuratively
Thanks for listening.
Kisses-
Kendra
Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.
www.kendracunningham.com
twitter @kendracomedy