BLONDE LOGIC

I don't miss boats

 

One of the most terrifying things someone can say to me is “Hey didn’t you used to go out with…………?”   If I don’t recognize the name, for some reason I want to be able to claim dating rights. “Don Juan Castillo? Hmm I think I did. Is he very handsome and generous with his compliment? That Don Juan?”  The worst is when you didn’t go out with him, but he sounds pretty fascinating “Didn’t I meet you at Marco’s party? Last New Year’s Eve in the British Virgin Islands? He had rented that boat…”

If I was in the British Virgin Islands last New Year’s Eve, you wouldn’t have to give me memory prompts, ok? I’d remember.

Knowing that this Marco character had taken up with a girl who looked like me, well, it’s fun to hear about.

Then someone else pipes in “No that was Carla, she moved to Italy”

And boom my hopeful daydream is now a jealousy fueled quest to learn bad things about CARLA.       

“Wow, she moved to Italy? What’d she go on the lam or something?”

“I think she was doing a documentary or something”

“Good for her. I gotta go eat a pizza or something’

\

Where I come from a “good for her” is just another way of saying ‘I don’t know how to feel good about things that I am really jealous about so I’ll just say something trite and retreat to my inner world where  I can compare myself to strangers with the voice of a maniacal drill sergeant-bye! Retreating now.”

 

I recently ran into someone who really did know one of my exes.  She said “Oh you used to go out with *Arnie, you know he’s one of the top insurance salesman in the nation? You really missed the boat on that one.”  In a perfect world, I would have grabbed her by her Casual Corner blouse, and said something like “You don’t know shit about me and what boats I’ve missed, for all you know I may be juggling a fucking squadron of international flotillas, jumping from one deck to the next whenever I fucking feel like it. And you know something about ARNIE? He was the cheapest mother fucker I ever dated, so Arnie buying a boat, paying for fuel, inviting people to enjoy the material things in life he acquired? You don’t know Arnie. Arnie once made me get up from a Thai restaurant because we had missed the lunch time specials by 5 minutes. I got up from my seat and left a restaurant so ARNIE could save two dollars on my chicken pad Thai order. So I’m pretty sure getting a ride on Arnie’s “boat” wouldn’t be the boat ride I want. I don’t want to have to paddle, or bring provisions, or listen to a man that cries and whines and gets involved with women so he can feel loved, not because he wants to love. So don’t talk to me about what boats  I’ve missed, Miss I’ve- spent -my –whole- entire- life -in -corporate -America -so -I -don’t –grasp- the - personal -value –system-concept. As far as I'm concerned, I didn't miss a boat but I did dodge a bullet. Capisce?”

But you can't get away with that and keep your bartending job at the same time, so I just said 

"oh yeah? Good for him”

 

All names have been changed to make the story funny.

 At least that was the intention.

Thanks for listening!

Kisses-

Kendra

Kendra is a stand-up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.

www.kendracunningham.com                   

www.blondelogicblog.com

twitter @kendracomedy

Facebook: Day Dream Destruction

There was a time when I would wake up and think glamorous thoughts like

“Some day I’m gonna live in Eastern Europe smoking cigarettes and drinking during the day, telling people about the movie script I’m working on.”

Or sexual fantasies such as “Some day I’m gonna go live in the hills in Italy and not talk to anybody for three months then ask the town’s folk what stories they made up about me and make love to whoever has the most glamorous assumptions.. and maybe the one who had the worst too. And maybe the one …”

Facebook has changed all that. Don’t get me wrong, I still want to do both those things and more but my most pressing reverie, the one that crosses my mind pretty much once a week, is “Some day I’m gonna go on my Facebook newsfeed and comment on every status update things like “so what?” “who cares?” “good one!...Not!” then update my status to “what are you gonna do about it?”

Roll the dice. Stir the shit. Provoke attention. All that jazz.

Which got me to thinking…

Top Ten Underused Facebook Comments

10. Good one…not!

9. Tool

8. Poser

7. Get a life!

6. So what?

5. Who cares?

4. You suck

3. Derrrrrr

2. Who gives a fuck?

And the number one most underused Facebook comment

1. Whoopee ding dong!!

Someday...

don't go stealing my dreams, now!

 

Thanks for listening!

Kisses- Kendra

Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle. www.kendracunningham.com

www.blondelogicblog.com

twitter @kendracomedy

relationship roadtrip: riding shotgun

 

More and more lately I’ve served couples where the girl seems to wear the pants, ordering for both of them, consistently being the couple spokesperson during their stay and ultimately,  paying the check. I brought this up to a guy friend who immediately went into a tirade about how unfair it is that the man is expected to pay for the woman on a date. I think the person who extends the invitation should be the one to pay. Sadly, our culture is still in the mindset in which the man is expected to ask the woman out. I wish it was different I really do. If woman were allowed to ask men out, you know how many more dates would be taking place? Are you shitting me? Everyday girls would be talking to their friends like “Amanda, you see the new guy? He laughed at something I said. I’m asking him out”

“sorry girl, I already did”

Girls want to be with guys. They would ask more people out, more often because they want it more. Not only that, if they get rejected, they have the option to cry. I’m a firm believer in role reversal, my only problem with it is it gives men more opportunity to just go along for the relationship ride. In most relationships that I am privy to inside information, the woman is always working on making the man better. In most instances.The guy is riding shotgun on the relationship roadtrip. It’s usually the man who is resistant to change and relationship participation so if the only thing they really have to do is make the first move, let ‘em have it. And let them pay!

Of course my guy friend came up a gazillion scenarios where he shouldn’t have to pay.  Unless the girl is a riproaring bitch or a Jersey Shore Booze Bag, you should be a gentlemen and pay for the date that YOU invited her on.  Now if it ends up she makes out with someone else during your date or calls you swear names or purposely orders high ticket items to inflate the bill, you might have a case on your hands. But even in those situations, its fight or flight. Do you want to fight with this nut over the bill or do you want to flee the scene and walk it off?   Maybe you’re a cheap self righteous bastard and duking it out is worth it to you, maybe she likes that and fighting over 100 bucks brings out the Jenna Jameson in her. Who knows.

If paying for the date is a concern, mention going Dutch when you pose the invitation. Then you are both clear about splitting the bill before you even get there. Personally when someone asks me to go Dutch I pretend I never heard the expression before “ Go Dutch? Whatta ya mean?”  That way the lonely miser  is forced to explain “ Well, um, I want to go to dinner with you but I don’t want to pay for you. I want you to pay for you and me to pay for me.”  After hearing a man say something like that, is there really any chance of a hot steamy romance to follow?  The words go Dutch  do not appear in Kendra Cunningham’s Book of Seduction.  “ Oh you want me to pay for me and you to pay for you? Ok. Let’s do that. I’m going to Il Buco on Bond Street at 9 - I dare you to sit at my table”.

 

Thanks for listening!

Kisses-

Kendra

Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.

www.kendracunningham.com

www.blondelogicblog.com

Criminal shit

I can’t get into bird chirping. I know people who are like “It was so nice. I woke up to birds chirping” First of all, there is nothing nice about waking up. You know why? Waking up puts you that much closer to getting out of bed. If somebody was to write a How to Get Out of Bed handbook, waking up would be Step One. Second of all, when I wake up to birds chirping I think “Great, even the birds are enjoying life more than me” then I get up and shut the window.

 

It seems like it’s always one bird chirping to another bird two trees away. Hey hey hey, you can fly! It’ll take two wing flaps for you to go sit next to her and chirp at a conversational level. You’re being loud AND lazy.

 

There is no other animal that can get away with that. You never hear people saying

“Good morning honey, do you hear those dogs barking? It’s gonna be a greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat day”

 

“Babe, wake up! Listen to the snakes hissing, it almost sounds like they’re in our room. Make love to me”

 

“Sweetheart, are you listening to those humans screaming? That’s what life is about. Let’s just call in sick and enjoy the day together”

 

I googled “why do birds chirp?” turns out the New York Times had a blurb about it in 1993. Yes, even people who read the Times are wondering why. Chirping is used for mating and protecting territory.

 

So I get the whole mating thing. If all I had to do was chirp to symbolize I’m ready for mating I’d be the most annoying chirper around. Who knows, I might even rent a Big Bird costume and give this whole I chirp, We mate theory a try. It’s the predawn part I have the biggest problem with. I’m sure there are birds that get annoyed with the whole thing too, lonely birds who hate getting up at the crack of dawn. These guys are just hoping for a broken wing accident so they can get some pity mating.

But protecting territory through chirping?  Chirping is not intimidating. In fact it’s somewhat of an audio taunt. I don’t yell out my window “Hellloooooooo this is where I keep my stuff, therefore this is my territory. If you think it’s your territory we will have to have a physical altercation about it. Helllllllllllllllllllooooo. I said …this is where I keep my stuff, therefore this is my territory………………..”

 

On a final note, and maybe this should have been the only note, how can anyone relish in the voice of a beast who has the power to shit on us from a distance?  I know, it doesn’t happen often but when it does, it’s not easily forgotton. I got shit on 3 or 4 years ago eating steamers at a dockside restaurant in Montauk, sitting across from a manboy I had coerced into coming on a two day gig with me. There I was reaching for my vodka soda, hold the soda, and splat. A bird shit on me. Now I have no reason to believe the bird aimed for me. I don’t. I have no reason to believe that. But I believe it anyway.

The guy I was with was a detective so I immediately put him on the case. I wanted to press charges. This was criminal shit.  I tried to give a description. I asked if he could be an eyewitness or would it be a conflict of interest. My manboy found none of it funny. Except the part where he got to see me get shit on. He really liked that.  

 

Anyway, I never saw that bird again but I still have the feces sample in the event he strikes again.

A repeat offender.

Shit and run.

 

Thanks for listening!

Kisses-

Kendra

Kendra is a stand-up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.

www.kendracunningham.com                   

www.blondelogicblog.com

twitter @kendracomedy

 

 

Q&A

By C. CLAIBORNE RAY
Published: October 26, 1993 Q&A

By C. CLAIBORNE RAY
Published: October 26, 1993

New York Times

Predawn Chirping

Q. Why do birds chirp before dawn?

A. Birds sing or chirp in the growing predawn light for the same complicated reasons that they do at other times of day, said Martha Fischer, an education assistant at the Cornell Laboratory of Ornithology in Ithaca, N.Y. Singing in springtime by the male serves purposes like signifying the nesting territory and attracting females for mating. At other times, chirping can keep the flock together or be a warning signal.

"Some birds will continue all day," Ms. Fischer said. "They just start at dawn." She said her guess was that birds burst into song around dawn "after some down time, so they are thoroughly rested, to start anew re-establishing their territory," in effect saying, "I'm still here."

 

Unexpected Superlatives

I’ve been doing a lot of work on goal setting and expectations. I’ve come to realize my expectations from men are far from reality based. For one thing, I still operate under the belief system that at some point, dudes stop acting like dudes and start communicating with me like my female friends. To some asinine degree, I subconsciously think guys ACT like guys until they  trust and love you, then they become easy going, understandable, fun loving people, just like my best gal pals.

The truth is, we’re always gonna be different. To make matters more complicated, within our respective genders, there are all different degrees of feminine and masculine behavior. My last boyfriend liked to talk about his emotional issues, repetitively. Not only was it exhausting, it was worrisome. Then I’m tiptoeing around his emotional shit and guess what?  My baggage got ignored and stagnant. I’ve also been involved with emotional imbeciles who literally have no emotional intelligence.

Me: ‘I like you and I like spending time with you but I don’t really know what’s going on with us?’

Neanderthal: “Whattaya mean?’

This is where I think I’m getting fucked with and lose my shit.

Sometimes it takes an idiot to send you into an anger fueled tail spin.

 

All I really want is someone to communicate these things

“I think you’re prettier than anyone I know”

‘I like spending time with you more than anyone I know’

‘I want you to feel like I like you more than anyone I know, how can I do that?”

 Superlatives and interest in behavior modification.

That’s really it.

I don’t think that’s asking too much.

Oh and the granddaddy of all superlatives, the unexpected superlative! One you never even HEARD before. Shit, I’ll forget all about the fact you didn’t answer my texts for 2 days.  I mean holding a grudge will only detract from the fact that I “look like a modern day Bridget Bardot ”

I’m no fool.

Preferably the male saying these things is 6 foot something, 50 to 60 pounds heavier than me, easy on the eyes, and highly interested in my sexual satisfaction.

Just another set of reality based expectations

I’m fucked

Figuratively

 

 

Thanks for listening.

Kisses-

Kendra

Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.

www.kendracunningham.com                   

www.blondelogicblog.com

twitter @kendracomedy

 

 

 

 

Tuxedo shirts and tulips

Tuxedo shirts and tulips

 

It takes so long to get to know people. Lately I’ve been trying to script a few key questions that I consider deal breakers, in other words, qualifying questions I used to ask the typical “what’s your longest relationship?” “what’s your relationship like with your mother?” now I stop myself from blurting out “Do you snore? Do you need a mechanical device on your face to breathe at night? Does your dick work? Ok. Pick me up at 8. You’re paying! Don’t fuck this up!”

 I try to have a few I can communicate with patience and curiosity. Ends up I have a lot of them but here are three that came up recently.

 

Do you ask questions during sex?

 

I don’t like that. Don’t ask me questions during sex. Odds are you’re not so inquisitive fully clothed, don’t get curious now. I don’t even want to hear a “does that feel good?”

If you are unsure if I’m having a good time, I’m not. I like to think my sexual behavior speaks for itself.

If you want to make a rhetorical statement – have at it but be careful, a “you’re so sexy” might result in ME asking questions. “What do you think is sexy about me?” and we both know you won’t have a quick answer for that. Most guys get stumped if you question their compliment, which infuriates me. Don’t be throwing have assed compliments around.

The thing is, being a stellar communicator, if you ask a question

I’ll assume you want an answer. Then I have to think. You don’t want me to think during sex believe me. Thinking might lead to the realization that I’m too tired for all this.

Plus I can’t hear the music if you’re gabbing away.

Victim of Love trumps sex talk everytime.

 

Do you like to talk about all the women you are attracted to?

 

I love this question. You know why I ask it? Because there are guys out there that truly believe they should be able to treat a woman like a man. Like a buddy. A drinking buddy usually. And when a woman responds to their barbaric behavior by acting like a woman, the guy throws out a “You’re being insecure” There is nothing worse than listening to a guy you are interested in talk about other women he finds attractive. It is moronic, insensitive, and totally fucking annoying.

I’ve gotten into wicked fights over this one. These types of guys will then say “you’re being insecure” which I have found really means “you’re being girly” or “you’re acting vulnerable” I guess my question should really be “do you have any degree of sensitivity for other people’s feelings?”

 

 

Do you turn tip money into origami?

I have been out on a lot of bad dates but I have yet to go out with an origami guy. As a bartender I see it. I see a couple laughing and talking and sometimes even making out while the guy sits there and makes one dollar bills into tulips or tuxedo shirts and then offers them to me as a tip. My payment. A satirized payment I might add. What am I supposed to do with these little prison yard arts and crafts numbers? Use them at Dunkin Donuts?

“That’ll be three dollars, please”

“Here’s two tuxedo shirts and a tulip. This is the currency I get paid in. Do you accept it here?”

The worst part is these guys are getting laid!

Making balloon giraffes out of condoms, I’m sure.

 

 

Thanks for listening!

Kisses-

Kendra

Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.

www.kendracunningham.com

[email protected]

Twitter @kendracomedy

pictures from the dating world

I have a friend who is online dating. No, it’s not me claiming it’s a friend, it is really a friend. I am the anti dater. I don’t like dating. The last thing I want to do with my free time is go meet a stranger with the mutual hope that we like each other on many levels. It’s the pressure cooker of one on one socializing.

 

Online dating sites should come with testimonials about the ramifications online dating can have on one’s self esteem. “Hey for $19.99 a month you can receive an abundance of emails from guys. These guys will not be relationship material today or any day in the future nor have they maintained any sort of personal relationship for more than 6 months but they WILL email you. They may or may not send you pictures of them in their underwear, some like to try their hand at poetry, others will simply try to woo the pants off you with statements like “Where you at?”  So no, this site won’t make finding that special someone easier but it will make it easier for the mean, median and mode of all averages to find you”

 

I don’t know about you but my self esteem is fragile when it comes to the opposite sex. Three emails from ugly, unfunny guys and I am back to eating pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner in my 7 year old grease stained sweats wondering if Benicio del Toro is funny.

 

Anyway, this friend is going out on dates 3 to 5 times a week. Are you kidding me? That’s a bartending job.  She claims it’s easy because you end up talking about the same things over and over again. The scenario just got worse. She said “what would you talk about on dates?” which stumped me. I guess I would probably talk about what time he had to get home and if he hates dating as much as me and does he like my new jeans. Those types of things. I really don’t even want to think about it. I used to be good at qualifying questions “how long is your longest relationship?” “what’s your relationship like with your mother?” now I’m down to “do you snore?” “do you need a mechanical device on your face to sleep at night?” “are you ok with being kept arms length away emotionally for 6 months to two years?”

 

So I don’t know exactly what I would talk about on dates but I do know what I wouldn’t say.

 

 

Top ten things Kendra won’t say on a date

 

1        It was really nice meeting your girlfriend the other night.

2        See that guy in the green shirt, I used to fool around with him.  Or was it his brother?

3        I’m so excited, I got here an hour early

4        Crap! I got mac and cheese on my leather halter top.

5        No dessert, thanks. I’m full.

6        Next time we come here, I’m getting a salad

7        Let me get the check.

8        You want a bite of this?

9        Stop pawing at me!

10     Let’s wait until we get home to do it!

 

 

Send me pictures from the dating world!

I haven’t been in a while.

 

 

Thanks for listening!

Kisses-

Kendra

Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super

comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her

sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.

www.kendracunningham.com

www.blondelogicblog.com

@kendracomedy

 

 

Weepy Werewolf

 

I’m not much of a crier. People learn that about me over time and think I’m tough. Or less feminine. Or heartless. The point is there are a lot of labels put on girls who don’t cry much, labels which would make a girl who cries, cry. It’s not that I don’t have depth, I do. I just have a high tolerance for emotional pain. Physical pain? Forget it. I’ve been known to display low level histrionics over a stubbed toe.

That shit hurts.

 

I think I learned not to cry from the way others reacted to my displays of sadness As a kid, I saw other girls cry and people would try to comfort them by saying ‘don’t cry” and hugging them. Other girls crying evoked empathy, sympathy, and understanding. Not me. I cry and people went into shock and disbelief. Not because they didn’t think I was capable but because I look like I’m morphing into the Werewolf of London. My face gets barbarically distorted and turns a deep purple/red. I tend to bare my teeth.  It scares people.  I am also terrified, adding to the whole “what the FUCK is going on with Kendra? Is she crying because she’s sad or because her “when I cry I turn into a feral wolverine” secret has been exposed?” scenario. When I cry in front of someone I show them my arms to assure them I’m not suddenly growing animal hair. Mostly I do it to assure myself. I’m just not the type of girl who enjoys a good cry. Crying scares the shit out of me and everybody around me. I’ve had boyfriends who would be like “oh you’re crying? I’m sorry but I can’t watch this and have a sexual relationship with you in the future sooooo sounds like a perfect time for me to start that running regime I’ve talked about for 3 years. See ya when the facial swelling subsides”

 

After moving my sister to Maine, I cried in the airport in Portland. I tried to hide my hideousness with a baseball cap but that didn’t dull the audio of my whimpering. One lady offered me a tissue I took two. She wanted to talk about someone else who had cried at the airport but when she took a really good look at me she stopped midsentence, covered her jugular, and waved a cross in my face

 

Still crying I went into Burger King and gasped out my order

“Large root beer please”

“Sometimes all you need is a sugary soda to make you feel better “

He walked away, forcing me to put my payment on the counter. Later I thought he may have done that deliberately so as to keep his distance.  Smart. Keep the wild beast arm’s length away.  Avoid the Danger Zone

 

I had to stop myself from going back and asking “can I buy a hamburger raw?”

 

Thanks for listening!

Kisses-

Kendra

Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.

www.kendracunningham.com         

www.blondelogicblog.com

twitter @kendracomedy

 

 

Catatonic Coping

My sister got the seven year itch, from me. We have been roommates for seven years and she’s packing up her things and taking the show on the road. Moving to Portland Maine. Someplace unaccessable by subway.

It’s like a break up. I’m kinda hoping I respond by hooking up with a bunch of guys.

My coping mechanisms have never included extreme promiscuity which is unfortunate for me and the men in my immediate line of vision.

The thing is, I cope with change like a wild animal who spots its predator.

I freeze. I remain still and stoic. The weird, nonreactive behavior is noticeable. People are like “are you Ok?”  I stand like a  physically catatonic stress victim “I’m fine” I respond.

“You don’t seem like you”

I move my eyes so they know I am alive.

 

I’ve never been much of a crier. Ever. Even as a kid I never thought to cry about things

I feel like I was always one to strategize.

Like “oh I can’t have cake now well how about I act slighty annoyed at that information but just wait til you try to sleep through the night you stingy cake controlling parent you”

 

Sometimes my reaction is delayed, for years.

“Kendra, why are you crying?”

“I can’t believe Boris broke up with me”

“That was 5 years ago”

“Was it?”

 

I know this is going to be one of those situations.

“Kendra, whats this box of stuff in the middle of the living room?”

“Oh, that’s from my sister’s move”

“That move was like three years ago?”

“Was it?’

I’m the Leslie Nielson of personal problems.

 

I have been feeling very Naked Gunnish lately. Somebody asked me to recommend a good date spot recently. The place I suggested had been closed for two years. I’m not much for dating but I will point out what is wrong with everybody else’s relationships. No problem.

I’m a ruthless relationship critic.

Is there any money in that?

 

 

Thanks for listening!

Kisses-

Kendra

Kendra is a stand-up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.

www.kendracunningham.com                   

www.blondelogicblog.com

twitter @kendracomedy

 

 

 

 

Love Meddler

I recently had a friend of a friend hound me to set her up with one of my guy friends. One of my favorite guy friends. Finally she said to me “give me your number, I’ll text you pictures of me” an aggressive move on her part. At that point, my hesitation and deliberation about introducing people from different parts of my life, is taken out of the equation. I can’t receive the pictures then not pass them on. Then I’m a sexy picture hoarder. I passed them along and thought “now I’m involved, whether they like it or not”

Now they both have what I like to call, a love meddler.

.

Setting people up is always a crap shoot. They are both your friends and who doesn’t want to see friends find love. We as humans tend to think “this is perfect! Two likable people who are interested in each other. This is a no brainer” the caper is everybody has relationship issues. EVERYBODY. Will their idiosyncrasies mesh? It’s like an issues jigsaw puzzle and nobody knows if all the pieces really fit but you started the damn puzzle and you got some of it and you think you can see what it will look like when it’s done but it’s kinda too time consuming and sometimes you pretend like your still into it but in your head you know you’ve tried to fit that three bubbled bit with two straight edges into a corner slot 7 times already and it doesn’t fit but to stay in the game you pretend that’s the piece you’re working on. The point is you may be sending them on a candlelit cruise of exploration or you may be shoving them into a hot lava pit of romantic incompatibility.

That being said, I am a girl, physiologically and somewhat emotionally, so I have to meddle. Just a bit. As a girl asking questions like “Would you ever be into Joey?” is commonplace. Now if a dude goes and asks those types of questions I’m sure the conversation is a bit more lewd and definitely short lived. Guys are not great information gatherers when it comes to one on one interaction. Have you noticed?  There is nothing worse than finally getting some one on one time with a guy you like and you’re navigating the conversation with questions. I have blown a gasket more than once with a revealing question like “Don’t you have any questions for me?” and then they look at me like  “You are seriously keeping track of who asks who how many questions?” and I look back like “Fuckin A I am.” And the rest of the night is spent with few words but a lot of faces being made.

So yes, as a girl I will be following up with my set up. They haven’t even met yet so I figure I’ll have my mitts in this thing for another 6 to 8 weeks.

Thats about two months of meddling.

Just when  I thought I had nothing going on this summer..................

 

Thanks for listening.

Kisses-

Kendra

Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.

www.kendracunningham.com                   

www.blondelogicblog.com

twitter @kendracomedy