More and more lately I’ve served couples where the girl seems to wear the pants, ordering for both of them, consistently being the couple spokesperson during their stay and ultimately, paying the check. I brought this up to a guy friend who immediately went into a tirade about how unfair it is that the man is expected to pay for the woman on a date. I think the person who extends the invitation should be the one to pay. Sadly, our culture is still in the mindset in which the man is expected to ask the woman out. I wish it was different I really do. If woman were allowed to ask men out, you know how many more dates would be taking place? Are you shitting me? Everyday girls would be talking to their friends like “Amanda, you see the new guy? He laughed at something I said. I’m asking him out”
“sorry girl, I already did”
Girls want to be with guys. They would ask more people out, more often because they want it more. Not only that, if they get rejected, they have the option to cry. I’m a firm believer in role reversal, my only problem with it is it gives men more opportunity to just go along for the relationship ride. In most relationships that I am privy to inside information, the woman is always working on making the man better. In most instances.The guy is riding shotgun on the relationship roadtrip. It’s usually the man who is resistant to change and relationship participation so if the only thing they really have to do is make the first move, let ‘em have it. And let them pay!
Of course my guy friend came up a gazillion scenarios where he shouldn’t have to pay. Unless the girl is a riproaring bitch or a Jersey Shore Booze Bag, you should be a gentlemen and pay for the date that YOU invited her on. Now if it ends up she makes out with someone else during your date or calls you swear names or purposely orders high ticket items to inflate the bill, you might have a case on your hands. But even in those situations, its fight or flight. Do you want to fight with this nut over the bill or do you want to flee the scene and walk it off? Maybe you’re a cheap self righteous bastard and duking it out is worth it to you, maybe she likes that and fighting over 100 bucks brings out the Jenna Jameson in her. Who knows.
If paying for the date is a concern, mention going Dutch when you pose the invitation. Then you are both clear about splitting the bill before you even get there. Personally when someone asks me to go Dutch I pretend I never heard the expression before “ Go Dutch? Whatta ya mean?” That way the lonely miser is forced to explain “ Well, um, I want to go to dinner with you but I don’t want to pay for you. I want you to pay for you and me to pay for me.” After hearing a man say something like that, is there really any chance of a hot steamy romance to follow? The words go Dutch do not appear in Kendra Cunningham’s Book of Seduction. “ Oh you want me to pay for me and you to pay for you? Ok. Let’s do that. I’m going to Il Buco on Bond Street at 9 - I dare you to sit at my table”.
Thanks for listening!
Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.