My mother left me a voicemail yesterday “Call me back as soon as you can, I’ll be quick”
It sparked my curiosity as my mother will go to any length to parlay a one minute phone conversation into an endless barrage of questions about anything from historical incidents, random ruminations, or unreasonable hypotheticals, giving it her all to be engaging and inquisitive while she conspicuously waits for another call so she can keep her phone chatter going for a marathon time.
Mom: “ The UFC guys are in Boston this weekend. Do you know about these guys? They fight in cages?”
Me: “ Not really. I mean I know of them …’
Mom: “Well, they are a big deal. People are coming to Boston from all over to see them. They’re at the GARDEN”
The Garden is the biggest deal in town.
Mom: “They get in cages and fight. Try to kill each other with their hands I heard. Bunch of animals, don’t ya think? Anyway people LOVE the cage bit. … YOU should perform in a cage.”
Me: “ Mum, stop! ”
Mom:” What? You’d get on all the tv shows. Comic in a cage. People would love it. Your slogan could be “so funny we had to put her behind bars” . I think it would work.”
Me:” Yeah maybe I could have four shirtless men carry the cage on stage and I could be inside in some sort of Tarzan get up, eating big Flintstone size turkey thighs off the bone, ranting and raving the whole time”
Mom:” Nah….. I don’t think you should eat in the cage, it’ll be distracting. Unless you were gonna offer thighs to everyone”
Me: “ I gotta go”
Mom: “ Alright, I emailed you a picture of a cage performer so you can see”
Me: “ Great. Thanks. I’ll talk to you later”
Mom: “What time?”
Kendra the Caged Comic coming to an unsuspecting bar room near you.
Please don’t feed the comic.
Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.